1. United States
2. Ohio
3. Letter

I just wanted to take a moment out of my day to extend my deepest, most heartfelt gratitude for the brilliant, well-thought-out, and totally-not-self-destructive tariffs that are being implemented. Wow. Just wow. What an absolute stroke of economic genius. It’s truly inspiring to see such a masterclass in leadership, where we punish our own consumers, businesses, and industries—all while pretending we’re “winning.” The best part? Making everything more expensive for hardworking Americans! Who doesn’t love paying more for basic goods? I know I personally wake up every morning thinking, “Gee, I wish I could spend even more on the same products!” And now, thanks to these tariffs, that dream is finally coming true. And let’s not forget the strategic brilliance of angering our trading partners while making U.S. manufacturers less competitive. It takes a truly special kind of economic wizardry to hurt both importers AND exporters at the same time. Kudos to all involved! Of course, the real MVP here is Donald J. Trump, the stable economic genius who clearly understands global trade better than every economist, historian, and business leader combined. Who needs expert analysis when you have gut feelings and the unwavering belief that trade wars are “good and easy to win”? The results speak for themselves—so much winning, I can hardly stand it! And to the millions of people who continue to cheer this on—bravo! Nothing says “America First” like making Americans pay more for everything while claiming it’s all part of some grand patriotic plan. The mental gymnastics are Olympic-level. Now, just in case there’s any confusion—this letter is dripping with sarcasm, because honestly, that’s the only way any of this makes sense. If I had to take it seriously, I’d have to assume that tanking our economy, raising costs on American families, and stoking unnecessary trade conflicts were actually the goals. And surely, no one would be that foolish… right?